How many times have you been out with your friends and the good times were rollin’ and so were the drinks…one thing leads to another and the next thing you know you’re in an Uber heading home. You wake up the next morning with that awful feeling of dehydration mixed with nausea and just know that you are surely going to die…
These desperate times have had me reconsidering my choices, especially as I get older. I’m only 31, but the hang overs get worse every year. Many times I have found myself vowing “I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!!!” Only to go out to dinner with friends a few weeks later and the conversations flowing and the beers keep coming and the next thing I know I am sleeping on the floor of my boyfriend’s bathroom….just kidding, I would never do that ; )
This past year, I took a break from my clean ways of eating. I let myself get lenient with what I ate. I allowed grains, dairy, sugar and gluten to slowly but surely sneak their way back into my day to day. Anyone looking in would say I ate a great diet. The truth is I have felt awful. I gained about 15 pounds, I slept horrible, my focus was that of a kid in a candy store and I could not stop myself from drinking Kentucky Mules all winter long. I would do a Whole-30 or a 21 Day Sugar Detox every six months and the Candida die off got worse every time. Every time I would say “I am NEVER eating crappy again!!” and every time I would slowly allow one food group after another to sneak back into my life.
You see, prior to this, I was picky about what I ate. I was strictly gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free and soy-free. I was happy with my body composition. While stress management was not a strong suit for me, I still managed to maintain control of my life. I was adamant that I just did not eat certain things. I started dating an amazing man who lives the bachelor life on the beach and we ate out all. the. time! He didn’t even have food in his refrigerator!! Slowly but surely my burger with no bun turned into a burger with bun, my taco insides turned into tacos. My black coffee slowly turned into coffee with heavy cream and eventually raw sugar. I started to forget how good I could feel. I started to become self conscious in my bikini. I started wearing maxi skirts instead of cut off shorts. I lost my ambition and hyper-active tendencies. I felt bad. I felt bad about myself.
I am here, today, to say that this time, like all times, passed. I like to refer to life as a series of seasons. I am clean eating again and feeling amazing. I am on a mission to heal my hormones through diet and lifestyle changes (thanks stress). I am three weeks into my healing and so far I am feeling great. I am serious this time (gasp), I am NEVER eating like that again! Before I eat something, I have adapted the principal of asking myself if what I’m about to eat will bring me nourishment and a healthy emotional response. If it will not, I will not eat it. If it brings me one with out the other, I then weigh the benefits and if it is worth it, I indulge a little without feeling bad.
I guess the moral of this story is we so often say we will NEVER do something again (eat bad, stop working out, call our ex, text our ex, FB stalk our ex, get drunk or whatever your thing may be), but we need to stop putting that pressure on ourselves and just ask the questions that help us to determine if something is “worth it”. Is this nourishing to my body? Is this going to create a positive emotional response? If I allow myself to ______, will I regret it?
Think about it. We rule our own lives (at least you should). No one can answer these questions for you…only YOU can decide what you can tolerate. For me, I just need to stay away certain places when I feel “weak” or more vulnerable to my atmosphere. I love going out with friends, but I have a difficult time saying “no” to a good time and lots of drinks. So right now, while my focus is on healing body from the stress of life and the lack of love over the past year, I don’t go out or put myself in a situation that I might regret the next morning. You have to choose for you what your situation or circumstance is that will keep you from optimum health. Be strong, be wise and be smart.